web counter Media Lies: Alphabetizing Moore

Friday, January 07, 2005

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Alphabetizing Moore

I was watching Jay Leno last night when he announced that Michael Moore would be one of his guests tonight. That, of course, means that I won't be watching the Tonight Show tonight, because I refuse to waste my valuable time on such a vulgar individual.

It got me to thinking of ways that I would describe Moore, and I came up with this idea to create phrases using words that begin with the same letter. The first one I came up with was "porcine purveyor of pusillanimity". That got me to wondering if it were actually possible to devise a list of 26 descriptions of Moore, each of which contained a similar phrase - adjective - noun - prepositional phrase - each word beginning with the same letter.

An entire range of possibilities comes to mind, but I'm not sure I could complete the whole alphabet. Here's a start

a - asinine agent of abjectness
b - brutish bagman of bunkum
c - churlish conveyor of claptrap
d - devilish drogher of drivel
e - effete emissary of exaggeration
f - fat furnisher of flimflam
g - garrulous gofer of gibberish
h - hateful herald of hocus-pocus
i - ignominious internuncio of invective
j - jaded jackass of jive
k - kindless keeper of keck
l - lily-livered lover of liberalism
m - mendacious master of manipulation
n - nattering nabob of negativism - Spiro Agnew, who inspired this nutty post
o - obese orator of obsurdity - Tbone
p - porcine purveyor of pusillanimity - Tbone
q - querulous quisling of questionableness
r - rotund ranter of rascality
s - stubby supplier of slander
t - thickset trumpeter of trash
u - untruthful umpire of understanding - TBone
v - vacuous vendor of vapidity
w - whale-like wholesaler of whoppers
x - xenobiotic xenophile of xerography
y - yawning yammerer of yech
z - zoomorphic zealot of zero

Suggestions? Additions? Corrections? I'll add to the list as I think of them or my readers provide them.

UDPATE: Added TBone's suggestions plus a couple more that I came up with, as well as "nattering nabobs of negativism", that famous phrase coined by Spiro Agnew, which was the subconscious inspiration for this post

UPDATE 2: I finished the list just in time for the bozo to appear on the Tonight Show (I guess - I ain't watchin'.)